My tribute to an awesome furry friend:
Feb 062011
This has absolutely nothing to do with fitness or nutrition. But what the heck:
Apr 012010
If you have followed this blog recently, especially in light of my extremely infrequent posting schedule, first, congratulations on your patience and thanks. Second, in light of my focus of late on more interior concerns than that of the body, you may have noticed that I’m defining health and wellness much more broadly these days.
For the last decade or so, I’ve been studying spiritual disciplines, philosophies and writings whose common underpinnings seem to be the illusory nature of the physical world and the simple but powerful assertion that the one true end to suffering is the radical acceptance of “what is”, or, simply, forgiveness.
The first concept may seem ridiculous since our senses quite clearly support the existence of a material universe. But the most sophisticated and respected areas of science seem to eerily parallel this idea. Quantum physics and quantum mechanics both postulate that what we hold to be true, in a practical sense (solid matter is truly solid and physical characteristics are constant and observable as such), is basically not the case. And if at each deeper level of observation (object, material, molecule, atom, sub-atomic particle) one can observe nearly 100% open space, that blows the idea that if you can see it and touch it, it must be real. So, now if nothing in our world holds constant or has predictable behavior, and the vast majority of it is just empty space anyway, then for all practical purposes, this whole drama is just a big dream.
I also understand the reluctance to embrace the idea of unconditional forgiveness. It seems weak, stupid or both to eschew moral outrage and associated responses in certain cases. But neither acceptance nor forgiveness precludes appropriate course correction or remedial action. If injustice occurs, it must be addressed. Emotional charge can be an effective catalyst for change but all that’s really required for right action is good judgment, courage and conviction. But revenge, retribution, and escalation has a pretty dismal track record in both the areas of group dynamics and individual relationships.
So I woke up this morning, as I do most mornings, with a mix of commitment to these ideals and predictable difficulty applying them in my daily life (the paradox of duality and separation). And I became that someone I care for is currently hurting in a deep and profound way. So I found this link that I thought would be helpful, intending it for her.
After I watched it, feeling the way I’d hoped she’d feel (at least a little bit), I realized that it’s for me. It’s for her. It’s for all of us.
If we want it.
Feb 222010
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”
~ Catherine Ponder
“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.”
~ Bryant H. McGill
“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”
~ Robert Muller
Dec 202009
Last night I had a singularly bizzarre, yet surprisingly uplifting experience. A friend of mine had a little too much to drink and is a hurting pup this morning. About 11pm last night, he was feeling very little pain but I was as uncomfortable as a guy with a sunburn wearing a burlap suit. He took the time to come find me and hang with me, making all the difference in the world. In between, he was in need of a little assistance that I was able to provide, which I would describe simply as, well, messy.
I called to check on him this morning, and he was licking his wounds, but also feeling badly about what he thought I’d had to endure as a result. While the truth was that my little “task” was a gift sent to me at just the right moment. It allowed me to take the focus off of myself, attend to a simple, clear priority that benefitted someone I cared about, and was the definitive symbolic conclusion to a night I was ready to have concluded.
A sense of peace followed.
So I wanted him to know he deserves not my forgiveness, but my thanks.
Feel better, Buddy.
“You can search the whole universe and not find a single being more worthy of love than yourself.”
– Buddha
Dec 132009
Storms have been passing through my town (and my head) lately, so when the opportunity arose to get out of the house (and my busy brain, at least a bit), my eight year old son and I headed downtown to finish up some Christmas shopping. There are several cool shops on Main St (just down the road from where I live), so we braved the elements and started out on our adventure.
After about a half hour of shopping, we planned to go to a Japanese place we like (yes – Ian is a sushi boy!) but it was closed. So instead we stopped by a place that was recommended to me recently called Cafe Main.
Oh my God! The pizza was amazing! We had a small steak, zuccini and tomato combo. They make their pizza’s in a wood oven and the thin crust was browned to perfection. Since we split the small (saving room for hot chocolate and a latte across the street), and ordered water, the whole lunch cost only $6.50 (before tip). Top that!
While I was there feeling quite blessed, another reminder snuck up on me and gave me pause to reflect and enjoy some gratitude about the unconditional love I’m surrounded by in my life. That reminder was courtesy of a little companion I keep on my wrist. It was developed by a former client of mine and her best friend. I have only had it for a few days and it’s already made a big difference in the quality of those days. Check it out:
And breathe …
If you ever wondered whether there’s any real credence to the argument that each of these aspects of yourself are intimately interconnected, consider these questions:
1. When you are feeling stressed or in conflict, does it affect your sleep, appetite and energy?
2. Have you noticed that when you’re run down physically, your outlook is less hopeful; you feel less emotionally resilient?
3. If you feel disconnected or adrift because you’re unclear about your deeper sense of purpose or about how you should live to realize your potential, do you also feel less motivated to take care of your body? Is your reasoning less certain and intuitive?
The last couple of weeks have provided a bit of upheaval, including, but not limited to friction with my parents during the holiday, a renewed and almost ferocious will to study, meditate and create an environment of spiritual support for myself, the shocking and unexpected passing of the 20 year old son of my wife’s boss (who, coincidentally is a former high school classmate of mine), my five year old daughter coming down with pneumonia, and her sharing her initial illness that preceded her current condition with me.
As a result, I’ve noticed that my ability to think more deeply and beyond the present demands of the day (and sometimes the hour) have been significantly compromised. And because I’ve been sick, I haven’t been able to work out, which is my preferred form of therapy. What I have tried to do is focus on applying spiritual principles to my challenges. The most spiritually evolved people I know always seem to operate on a little deeper, more grounded level. They seem to, more often than not, get that these physical and emotional challenges are placed in our path specifically to provide an opportunity to extend compassion, patience, understanding and a willingness to learn and grow.
And that’s what I intend to do with this moment.
Sep 282009
..on so many levels. Posted on Facebook by an old high school friend. Just watch (and listen – headphones make it more intimate):
Sep 192009
I read a book by this wise, compassionate individual a year or two ago, and this video is the first time I’ve seen his face or heard him speak.
I love the ideas, the practice, the dedication he and his wife share to this vision.
I love the intertwining of what can sometimes be esoteric, philosophical spiritual concepts with the visceral and deeply emotionally universal language of music.
And I love the anecdote near the end of the video about the little girl and her baby sibling.
Let this new day, this new year, be your gift to yourself and to the world.
Sep 122009
Who would scream at this face? What could possibly motivate an otherwise rational human being to yell at an angel like this? In public, no less?
This morning was the annual soccer parade in my home town. It’s a big event that brings out most of the town, either lining Main Street to watch or they’re part of the procession of kids and their parents walking in it. Shortly after the walk, my eight year old son told me he was going to the water faucet to grab a drink. I’m assistant coaching his team so I was talking with the head coach at the time, but told him to go for it. It was just a few yards away, but he had to cut through at least 30 or so people (maybe more like 50) walking in both directions. I half-listened to the coach for about 30-45 seconds and then looked toward the water faucet.
Gone.
I went over to the playground area surrounding the water faucet. Nowhere in sight. Lots of kids that look a little like him were playing on and around the play structure (half of the boys in the parade were wearing the white jersey and black shorts he had on; the other half wore yellow jerseys) but he wasn’t among them. Even though it was a family event and we live in a very safe little town, I had a sick feeling and sudden panic hit me. I stepped up onto the retaining wall next to the faucet, and scanned the crowd as neighbors and friends passed by saying hello. I responded distracted and abruptly, asking them to keep a lookout for him and tell him to head back to the water faucet if they saw him while my eyes darted frantically around the thick but slowly dispersing crowd. Fear got the best of me and a truly horrific possibility crossed my mind, if only for a moment.
Just then I saw him down the street a block or so away with a family we both knew (thanks Kit!) and called out to him. He was walking in the other direction with them and I injured my knee a few months ago, so running to catch them was not an option. So, I screamed as loudly as I could at least three or four times, now feeling as much anger and relief as I had felt panic a few moments before. When I finally got his attention, I motioned to him sternly to come to me. He was defensive and protesting his innocence even before we were in range to hear each other and it was a struggle just to get a word in.
So I opened up and dressed him down with the self-righteous zeal of a fiery televangelist. I pretty much lost any sense of dignity and delivered the lecture about three times louder and more angrily than was truly necessary.
And then I felt terrible. So I explained to him that when he told me where he was going, I expected him to be there when I looked for him. But he thought he’d remembered where I was and was trying to return there. Ultimately it was my fault since I should have told him to stay there and I would follow him. But I didn’t. I apologized to him both for my outburst, and for not making it clear what he should do. I also let him know that if we’re ever separated again with no way of contacting one another, he should go back to the last place I knew he was and wait for me.
Later, after we got home, he seemed to be fine but I was still shaken and ashamed of my display of anger with him, especially since it was something I could have avoided in the first place. I told him I thought I might have lost him for good, even though that was very unlikely, and that I loved him more than I could say (which he already knows). We shared a long hug and sigh, then resumed watching the Incredible Hulk remake we’d started last night.
And just when I was beginning to feel so Zen. Thanks, ego, for reminding me how much work I still have to do.